It’s been six months since you died. How can that be? How can the world keep moving forward when mine stopped on June 1st? You are really gone and I’m alone. I’m confused, hurt, sad, lonely and a little angry. I know it’s all part of the grief process but it’s so overwhelming. I don’t […]

I stood beside the highway overlooking the Vermilion Lakes in Banff NP Canada a few weeks ago as the sunrise illuminated the sky with fire. I was in awe of the beauty that God was painting for those who rose early enough to watch. I was really in Canada! As I soaked in my surroundings […]

The water dances and shines as it flows swiftly over the rocks on it’s journey to the sea.  I stand on the edge knowing I need to cross but unsure if I can make it.  The water is frigid, the rocks create an uneven and treacherous path.  I must cross but I’m afraid.  The water […]

Today has been really hard for whatever reason. I’m trying to give myself grace but it’s still a struggle. A photographer friend shared a reel with me a month or so ago that I haven’t been able to get out of my head. I haven’t figured out how to share that reel (challenged with technology) […]

Today is your birthday. You would have been 60 today. But instead you’ve been gone for 3 months. I want to celebrate the day but it’s hard because I’m still grieving your loss. Our birthday’s are special, a little bit different than most. You were 24 hours older than me. Your birthday is today, mine’s […]

I always thought grief was an emotion. And while that is true, I’ve come to realize that grief can also affect our physical body. I thought I was going crazy! I’m tired all the time, have no appetite, I have headaches most days and sometimes struggle to put two thoughts together. A few times I […]

The day looms before me like a dark tunnel with no light. It’s empty, I’m alone. It would be so easy to stay in bed all day but the dog needs food and to be let outside. I need to feed the barn cat and check on the watermelons. Pool duty, as that’s all it […]

I’m weary of being alone, of crying, of all the work that needs to be done. I’m weary of sharing negative posts as I’m sure some are weary of reading. But’s it’s my life right now and I’m trying to find the road through it. We starting dating at 16 and married at 19. That’s […]

When I wrote my previous blog post I had so many thoughts rolling through my head that I needed to get them out. I realized today it was because I’m missing my companion. My soul mate, my high school sweetheart, my spouse and father of my children. The man I shared everything with; my dreams […]

Webster’s definition of Lonely is “alone; solitary; standing apart from others of its kind; isolated; unhappy at being alone; longing for friends, company” For the first time in my life I’m alone. My parent’s have passed away, my spouse of 40 years died 40 days ago, our children are grown with families of their own. […]